I’m probably about to step in it in a really big way… But this is about the only way I can think of to explain the situation.
When I married my wife she was a blond. For the purpose of this discussion we’ll use this color to signify blond: 
Over the years she’s taken her hair back to her natural color, more of a brunette color, for that color I’ll use this to illustrate: 
There were many reasons for this. (1) The expense of going and getting her hair done all the time. There were times when we simply couldn’t afford it. (2) She wasn’t happy with the person doing it, and (3) I can’t remember the other reasons but it seems to me there were more than two reasons.
In any event, I love my wife no matter what, but if I had a preference I’d prefer the blond color and she knows that. I also prefer her to have longer hair. Those are my preferences. It’s just the way I am. She’s always had longer hair until a few years ago. She cut it short and I’ve been living with it ever since.
She keeps teasing me by growing it out some, then she’ll go get a couple inches cut off and it drives me nuts. We agreed in the past that shorter hair was a good idea because of all the things she needed to do and the time it takes to take care of long hair, etc, etc. I can agree with that. Since I now wear my hair shorter than she would *like*. But it’s easier for me in the morning. I think she also did this when Maria was a baby. I’m sure she’ll correct me if I’m wrong in that statement, but I’m getting off subject here.
The bottom line is I prefer her to have long blond hair. Again it’s a preference, not a requirement. But it’s one of those things, where if you aren’t going to ever change it, then don’t ask me what I prefer…
A couple days ago she started telling me how Molly was going to get a perm, and that she had found this guy she was going to let color her hair.
So I start thinking: and 🙂
Today she went and got it cut and colored but what she came home with was: 
not from
Is it lighter? Well I guess technically it is. It’s also shorter, by a little bit. To me this is all going in the wrong direction but for crying out loud, if you’re going to pay someone to put color in your hair have him put some color in.
I don’t think you pay for the color by the amount used do ya? Even if you do how much more could it be to go from to ?? $20 ?? You’re already there, that’s like going to the buffet and only getting a salad. Somebody please explain this to me.
Then when you look at them, and say, it’s not really any lighter, which to a Man and is still a brunette. You just get beat up.
I noticed the difference, I noticed it was insignificant, and I noticed it was shorter. You can’t tell me a guy *cut* your hair and it’s not shorter. That’s simply impossible. Cut in itself implies that it’s shorter.
This is just another one of those no-win husband situations. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
If I don’t say anything I’m a no-good lousy person for not noticing. If I just smile and say “Oh, you got your hair cut, and colored” she’ll know right away I don’t like it. If I say, “Wow honey that looks great”, I’m lying, and she’ll know that too. And finally, you try to be honest, try to let her know, that isn’t what you had in mind and the world stops.
You just can’t win.
First of all – after he wrote this I showed him pictures of me as a brunette (dark blond) and short hair when we were still dating – not even married yet. Then I showed him the progression of my hair in pictures through the years with the births of babies and such. He then saw that my hair has been short and long, MANY times – I have grown it back out and then cut it again, colored it and taken it back to natural color.
Just after he wrote the blog he asked me, “You just cut your hair since we moved in this house didn’t you?”. That’s when I realized that it was time for him to see my hair “in pictures” through time.
He must have had it in his head that I’d been blond with long hair for the first 10 years of our marriage. So tell me this! If he cares so much what color my hair is or how long it is – how come he didn’t remember the other 15 times it’s been cut or colored or taken back to my natural color over those first 10 years? If he’s so observant – why didn’t he notice for the first fifteen years of our marriage?
Ugh… My wife is a blond, always has been and is supposed to be. Yes I know that over the years we’ve been married there have been times she’s let it go back to her natural color. Namely when she’s been pregnant because she didn’t want to continue applying chemicals to her hair. But still for the most part she’s been blond.
About 5 years ago after she did decide that she was going back to her natural color permanently. I was OK with that at the time. It was what she wanted to do, and hey, it was going to be cheaper to boot.
That doesn’t change the fact that I prefer her as a blond.
My post wasn’t meant to pick a fight or to blame her for anything in particular. Merely to point out that it doesn’t matter what we as men want, we aren’t going to get it. It doesn’t matter if we like it, or don’t we can’t answer honestly no matter what.
I’ve since learned that apparently my wife IS in fact a blond even though I wouldn’t put her in that category. To me there are blonds, and I guess dirty blonds. To me she’d be a light brunette, but there is this form of dark blond which to me isn’t really a blond at all but she is one of those, and I’m supposed to like that because it has blond in the title.
Like I said, I can’t win.